Sunday, October 6, 2013

Finding Beauty Where E'er I Go

The seasons are in their transition, as is the political, sartorial and culinary climates of New York City. Soon, the fig tree that I walk under every day before I round the corner to my home block will fade away the scent of ripened mashed fruit underfoot with the autumn rains. The leaves tempt me to harvest for experimental pickles and dolmades. I must acquaint myself with its Jewish owners so that I don't feel like a vandal plotting to pick the fruit under cover of darkness next summer. They obviously have more than they ever care or want to pick for themselves. I guess for now I will have to be content with spritzing my Fresh Fig and Apricot parfum when the air has a familiar chill...

When the weather starts turning, I get more creative. I re-stock my spices that have been put to good use throughout the year, but also bring out the more traditional ones for cold weather cooking- cinnamon sticks, cloves, allspice for mulled wine and cider, pumpkin and squash-based foods. I raid the wild overgrown sage bush in the backyard, visions of crackly buttered sage in soups, roasted meats and hair vinegar rinses. I devote more time and budget as I can to roving the Brooklyn and Manhattan Farmer's Markets, checking off the staples- garlic, onions, plus varieties of apples and pears, farm eggs, dark leafy greens and a colorful pile of root vegetables with the highest vitamin and mineral content. This year, I have fallen in love with legumes all over again, and intend to put lentils through the recipe wringer along with some unusual grains, like amaranth and millet. At some point soon, I will buy my $7-$8 bunch of fresh eucalyptus to decorate, disperse the annoying closet-and-cupboard moths, and eventually serve as fragrant and potent inhalants for my seasonal sinus colds.

It was with this inventive spirit (and tormenting autumn illness) that I found myself in Tribeca yesterday, aiming to take mental and visual stock of items at my favorite health food store in Manhattan, Bell Bates. Imagine my deep confusion and sadness when I happened upon the raised steps, only to find a garishly incongruous Hallowe'en display inside the wide-open doors. Costumes and gimmicky ads included. Not a spice in sight. Mind you, I do consider myself a fan of Hallowe'en, since I have always liked to play dress-up and explore the deeper and darker side of my imagination since I was a sheltered, restricted child of The Church. But I was not prepared for this untimely assault, October or not. Not at my oft-visited haven for hard-to-find herbs and spices at affordable sampling (and hoarding) quantities! Where will I find a $3.99 4-ounce bag of everlasting flowers to try out a new tincture?? Who else had such an extensive array of seaweed products from more than one brand?? Why, oh why didn't I come in September like I planned to? The girl smacking her gum on her cell phone break outside saw my bereft state and informed me that Bell Bates closed up shop two months ago. The beginning of the summer was  last time I was in there (feeling guilty for buying too many things, but vowing to return in Sept nonetheless). They never mentioned anything in the store, even though I now see online everyone knew about this... People need to know how much of an institution this place was, family-run since 1885... but there is Whole Foods down the block to contend with, so I guess it was inevitable.

I could suck my teeth about that, but I will be positive and highlight the fact  that, call it what you like, WF was my next logical step for consolation. and to some degree, I was consoled. I happened upon a small display in the natural cosmetic section (my secondary obsession, after spices), where a lovely young lady and her older male assistant were rearranging their wares.

Daliia: The Science of Life, was set up to showcase sexy looking kohl eye makeup in vibrant metallic colors and amazing lipstick-style cases with retractable mirrors. My favorite, which I intend to purchase and wear the hell out of, was the Persian Gold Eye-Stick. There were also some natural-based lip stain pens, beckoning for a  pout. Since I have a love-fear relationship with any lipcolor more lingering than lipgloss, I feel confident that these stains are the perfect addition to my regimen. As I mentioned to Dalia, it is reminiscent of a simpler (and yet more subversive) time of the Middle Ages, where young women found inventive ways to have a beauty regimen in spite of strict religious and superstitious social directives. Ms. Dalia herself is a striking lass, all dark wavy tresses and a slightly classic ancient-beauty look to her. Although I was fighting a heavy disposition in my despair over Bell Bates and my sinus headache, I found myself talking to Dalia for about an hour about her line. I love that she is an independent gal touting "Ayurvedic Couture", and I tip my invisible fedora to a young person like myself who obviously values ancient ways with a fresh new delivery. She is doing something my grandmother did, my mother always dabbled in and I aspire to do a little bit more every day. There are very few artists, designers and purveyors of beauty that I feel compelled to mention in my blog as a direct inspiration and promotion, but I will say thank you to Dalia and Daliia, for giving me a ray of hope that all is not lost in this larger, ever-changing metropolis; that perseverance and creativity are still rewarding traits when one daydreams and fantasizes about a different way of life.
 
One small independent institution may have bowed out, but in its wake, may many more can and will crop up. And I will find them, and speak their name with a smile upon my lips, and a Persian gold rimming my eyes!


Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Someone's Gotta Give, Or Negotiating The Economic Theory of Despair

So, here we are in the sixth (almost seventh) day of August. It feels like a Monday, because of the grueling and soul-crunching aspect of my days' activities. At least True Monday was rather low-key and enjoyable by comparison. One can even say it culminated in fruitful accomplishments, composed of balmy breezes, impromptu after-work strolls and friendly visits with unexpected bounties (ahem, MA...).
Perhaps a little too much vine-flavored bounty? A little hangover with my morning court case, please?

Sigh... I left the office at 6:47 pm this evening after being pulled into a 4:30 pm meeting with the senior accountant and the CFO. Reports are needed, collective scrambling for contracts and a sense impending doom surrounding the management of certain properties were all the talk of the day. Needless to say, I have yet another layer of work piled onto my many varied striations of Legal Clerk duties, compressing at an accelerated rate now and promising a very precious gem of a headache, product highly valued yet underpaid.

I am not completely at my wit's end, having recently bandied some ideas and suggestions with my mother and best friend. I am just feeling a little drown-y for lack of a more nuanced term at 11:38 pm. In today's world, it's all about keeping abreast of the news, following this witty post-Black Man commentator, interspliced with news from The Post, Al-Jezeera, The Economist, The Ecologist, The Times, et cetera, ad nauseum, ad inifinitum.... Well my little faithful BlackBerry Curve can only take so much, and so my bank account, for the record. Trying to keep a budget and pay every blasted private/public/sub and unsubsidized school loan is draining what would otherwise look like a sub-lower middle class income. I can't afford an upgrade to keep up with the wave of digital information that so often thrusts itself as the surefire method for me to rise up out of economic poverty with my intellectually rich potential.

I really need a new laptop and a new phone/phone plan. My brain is fried from daily computer work to the point that it is an existential chore when I get home to do anything else on a computer for myself- writing, research, networking, even entertainment.

How do I get out of this funk?!

Enter The Humble Book and its enticing counterpart, the New York Times Book Review Section.

For the archaic Luddites among my readers few, these would be the tangible, weightier, relatively cheaper versions of blog postings and news bites. I don't have to squint and scroll through an endless feed of information. I can focus on one chapter at a time, pore over one book review and their myriad of new words to look up in the dictionary and add to my lexicon. And I still feel connected to modern society, and what's more, excited about learning and pressing forward with my foreign affairs career aspirations!

I say all of this to say that on the way home this afternoon, I felt a little dejected from my ordeal and the pittance I must magically stretch beyond physics to pay my way through life with. I cracked open today's reading choice, Economics for Dummies, and first read a mini article about First World subsidized farmers threatening the livelihoods of Third World subsistence farmers. Not exactly uplifting and encouraging facts. But the excerpt was well written, and helped me to conceptualize the Price Ceiling graph the story was meant to alliterate. Of course, the subject of rent control was also mentioned, thus crystallizing the details of my current line of work against the issues I want to tackle in my dream job.

I got to thinking about a certain letter languishing in my room from a fundraising entity of NYU. Apparently I was caught unawares some random phone call months ago and "pledged" to give $50.00 for their efforts. This is the third letter I received at the end of July with them asking me to remember my pledge and essentially pay another bill. I called their phone number and explained apologetically that I am in no financial position to cough up $50 with my current budget and politely tried to bow out. Not my proudest moment, as a believer in fundraising and community support, but damn these expensive school loans and the fact that my promising career after my triumphant Master's Degree has not translated into burgeoning purses to benefact back to NYU!

I decided, after having read the economics chapter, that I would turn this fundraising to my advantage. Instead of merely writing a letter stating how I can't afford their pricey fundraiser drive. I will include an appeal for a job at any office in NYU that deems my skillsets worthy.

Seeing as how I am educated by NYU, perhaps some hawk-eyed office-person with a sense of humor/duty/insight will come across my resume attached to my response letter and pass it along to the appropriate party for review.

It's so crazy, it just might work!

Sunday, June 16, 2013

When It Rains It Surely Pours... Thoughts on SHE Summit, Same Sky and The Athena Phenomenon- Part 2

My epiphany came to me in the hazy interface of sleep and wake this morning, as I turned over and gently pressed the "on" button to my waking thoughts.

I am happiest when:
I am engaged in some doable (note: NOT All-Consuming) project,
I have thought-provoking and mentally/physically involving events to attend,
I have caught up with all the people I wanted to check in with,
I am singing (@overture.me, props to Jared and Jason for bringing that one to the surface!),
I have reading material, in the form of great web and print-based articles, a recommended book or two, even an unexpected handwritten card or letter, and
When my creative side has been stroked and encouraged to make a therapeutic reemergence.

The second day of SHE Summit seemed to be about 50% less attendance, but this in no way diminished the buzz, the echoes of excited and engaged women (and a few men) talking. The community-driven spirit of the event was palpable.

Day 2 was all about Women Investing in Women; Women & Media Consciousness; Women & Science; Mentorship and Sponsorship; Return on Investment (Self-Care & Wellness); and Success Stories from working Moms. Every topic was exciting and eye-opening in how the panelists highlighted the issues, related their own personal anecdotes to the audience, and promoted themselves and other women confidently. They were real women (mostly white, a few of color, but I'm not hating, just relating) of different ages, backgrounds, sizes and perspectives. Some, like the triumphant Cindy Gallop, had an awesome stage presence, her voice peppered with passion when she spoke. I wrote and tweeted so many of her quotes  that my carpal tunnel started acting up! By far, the one I want to repeat and re-read over and over again was, "There is a huge amount of money to be made by taking women seriously", which she said during a discussion about how women are represented by the almost 97% of male ad creators in the United States. According to Ms. Gallop who totally makes me want to get back on my gallant horse of life, pun intended!), women are the majority users of social media (I'm talking to you, Lady LittleFoot!), and they influence 90% of technology sales (whether they are used to sell them to other women or not, I presume). Another spot-on thing she said was " we are constantly played back to ourselves through the male gaze". Boom. There it is.

I really appreciated learning about John Gerzema yesterday, although I didn't get to attend his conversation because I was volunteering at the registration desk, I did chat him up when he was leaving and got him to sign a copy of his book, The Athena Doctrine. What I overheard got me excited, because he highlights the value of so-called feminine traits in leadership around the world, with clear statistics. He even went as far as to say that these are areas that men could and should adopt in order to be more effective as co-leaders with women in The World of Right Now and Tomorrow.

It's so funny because all last year I had purposed to design and achieve another meaningful tattoo to commemorate my 30th birthday and reflect on life since I was 20 years old studying in Australia. I didn't get it (yet), just like I didn't start locking my hair, another endeavor re-evaluated for strength of purpose. But, just being at this conference, making the decisions that I made in the past two weeks and the past three months at this new job have affirmed what I knew last year. The image that I couldn't get out of my head when I thought about it was a woman pulling back a bow an arrow, placed right on my left shoulder blade. I wanted to incorporate not just Athena, Goddess of Craft and Wisdom, but also Nzinga, Warrior Queen of Matamba.

Tattoos and Dreads, you say... what kind of girl is this? Well, let me be one to say that both of these forms of physical self-expression are older than the internet, and have long been part of my ancestral heritage, as well as about 95% of human beings anywhere on this globe, in some form or other. This is not a hard statistic, and is mostly based on my own travels, conversations and literary investigations. I have my reserved, slightly conservative side, and I have my creative, expressive and open-minded self inhabiting the same body. My Body. My Mind to expand and share with others, my Lips to speak positively and supportively, defensively and with confident authority or even with a measured rebuke, if so warranted.

All of this, and I still want to be a U.S. Diplomat, so help me. MA and I have both signed up to take the FSOT in October, me my third time will be a charm!

Some quotes from the SHE Summit:

"We need new role models of what masculinity is, there is a global crisis of masculinity"

"End the backlog of untested rape kits in the U.S.- 400,000, The Human Rights Watch says it is the biggest violation to American women"- Julie Smolyanski, CEO & Director of Lifeway Foods

"Only 2 cents of every development dollar goes to girls"- Maz Kessler, Catapult

"People assume that the U.S. is investing in girls... we give more money to animal causes"- Ruma Bose, Innovator's Fund Partner

"There are times when pushing the women's story is problematic... you have to get men interested"- Carol Hymowitz, Bloomberg Editor-at-Large

"Women challenge the status quo because we are never IT"- Cindy Gallop, CEO IfWeRanTheWorld

"If we inspire the next generation to become scientists, some will practice hard science...the rest will practice the scientific method, so everyone wins"- Rita J. King, EVP for Business Development @ Science House Foundation
"Instead of asking for an opportunity, tell someone what you can do for them...amplify your own ability to succeed by connecting:- Rita J. King


On Mentorship vs. Sponsorship:

"The Godfather Principle...If you only associate with people on your level, you are doing yourself a disservice"

"Lead by giving; be indispensable; create goodwill to make someone want to take an interest in you; take the initiative"

"We need to stop judging each other, because we are holding each other back with reinforcing perceptions"- Caroline Ghosn, Co-founder & CEO Levo Lounge

"Take B Vitamins to lower your carb cravings!"

"A man is not a financial plan...the lizard brain we have...that someone will be there to take care of us" Manisha Thakor, Founder & CEO Moneyzen Wealth Management


And for the ever-learning writer in all of us, a matter of contention to be cleared up...semicolon versus colon!





Saturday, June 15, 2013

When It Rains It Surely Pours...Thoughts on SHE Summit, Same Sky and The Athena Phenomenon- Part 1

I had been depressed for a while now. It comes in bursts after a period of latency, crowding out my innovative, get-up-and-do spirit, and making it that much harder to feel effective and inspired to get out of whatever funk I found myself in. It's not like I forgot my Happy Black Woman challenge, it's just a culmination of long work hours at this new job (which has been rich combination of experiences challenges met and ideas fostered) and pressures from my mother (bless her, really!) to keep looking for The Job Opening that would really launch my career.

Let me just say that for a while after graduating from NYU, I really was gunning for a career that matched my thesis study, something in the international development, sustainable human rights work, etc. realm. I still am very much interested in working on those issues, and including the equally important environmental, immigration, civic duty and community activism tracks. My problem has always been that I didn't know how to find the career guidance and support I so craved. I grew up with two dichotomies that I still find myself on the odd sides of, depending on my hormone cycle:
1- Ask and ye shall receive (whether this was ask God, ask a friend, ask the various relatives that my mother did or did not have good terms with (at the wrong intervals, it seemed to me. whole other blog topic, that one...)).
2- Don't be so needy, research and find your own way, be independent and innovative.

Both of these in their own ways are noble and commendable mandates, but they get confusing and overwhelming when one considers one's upbringing, current financial state and personal anxiety/depression issues/agnostic issues.

I wanted (and still want) to do everything! I want to tackle why New York City youth are bombarded by the seduction of spending, without the focused and dedicated tutelage from our various school systems on the subject of responsible personal finance. In fact, let's start teaching them in the 5th grade, and not wait for high school impulsive hormones to cloud their judgments.

I want to seek out and engage the people that are helping bring the immense problem of sex trafficking women and girls in this city as well as globally (especially in my home region of Latin America and the Caribbean). This problem alone is undercutting the next generation of women via economic devaluation, plain old abuse and psychological as well as sexual slavery. Where will our leaders come from and to whom will they speak if they still feel their (and their subject audience's) value stems from which man "protects" her? If she still feels that her voice holds no water weight unless a champion steps forth from among the lions in the same vicious arena of spectators?

My mind races now, trying to get these sentiments out, but sometimes it paralyzes me with the sheer enormity of how many issues there are to be solved in this world, in this city! Which one do I pick up and champion? how do I get involved in a meaningful, not to overwhelming, and possibly life-uplifting way? When I say life-uplifting, in this case, I am talking about the dedication of putting long hours into a project/career/job that supports me coming out of my own personal debt, being able to pay all of my bills every month instead of robbing my own bank accounts; the ability to stop stressing about providing for my mother and sisters; the courage to take challenges wherever in the world knowing that my value is beyond how much income I can generate for a company, like a highly educated milk cow.

Enter one dispirited afternoon of reading emails. Every so often, I see what LivingSocial is offering the public. Sure, a vacation to St. Petersburg is on my list, but when I saw the words SHE Summit, I was really intrigued. I had never heard of Claudia Chan and her organization, but I do know a good deal when I see it. I immediately signed up to attend this women-focused conference, and jumped on the opportunity that it offered for me to volunteer with registration and setup.

I swear, volunteering has been changing my life in the past year in more ways than I can really attribute, and I am determined to find a way into My Career through continued service to my community. I decided that I would take Friday off of work and take the 7am to 2pm registration desk shift. I didn't leave until about 7:30pm; how ambition really drives the eager soul, sometimes! I did get to speak with some amazing and inspiring co-volunteers and sponsors, exchange some emails and business cards and even dole out some of my own wisdom and insights to fellow women.

This morning I jumped out of bed at 5:41 and have been excited about going to the conference today as an attendee. I was tweeting and taking picture to upload to Facebook and I truly have a renewed spirit to take on The Issues At Hand. I think I have even beat this confounded writer's block!

Stay tuned for round two!